How to Write a Taoist Memorial
Writing a memorial for a loved one within Taoist tradition is an act of love and quiet trust in the Tao. It records who they were, the way they moved through the world, and the harmony they kept with life and death as parts of the same flow. This guide offers structure, prompts, and gentle suggestions to help you write something honest and lasting, whether you are working alone or gathering memories from family and fellow practitioners.
Writing a memorial within Taoist tradition
In Taoist teaching, life and death are two halves of the same natural movement: the rising and falling of the same breath. Death is not an ending but a return to the Tao, the great Way that flows beneath all things. The soul has more than one aspect: the Hun, the lighter spirit, rises and continues its journey, while the Po, the earthly soul, eventually rests with the body. A memorial holds both the sorrow of absence and a quiet trust in this larger cycle of balance and renewal.
Funeral rites are often led by a Daoshi priest, who chants prayers to guide the soul through the courts of the underworld over a period that traditionally lasts 49 days. Families burn joss paper (paper money, paper clothes, paper houses) to provide for the soul on its journey. The balance of yin and yang sits beneath all of this: the practical care of the body and the spiritual care of the soul, the grief of those left behind and the peace wished for those who have gone.
Practice varies between southern and northern Chinese traditions, between mainland China, Taiwan, and the diaspora, and between Quanzhen, Zhengyi, and folk Taoist communities. Write to your own family's practice. A memorial does not need to summarise the whole tradition. It needs to record one life lived in harmony with it.
What to include. Taoist elements
A Taoist memorial often draws on the deceased's practice of wu wei: non-forcing, non-striving, the ability to act in accord with circumstance rather than against it. Did they handle change with grace? Were they unhurried in the right ways? Did they know when to step back, when to let a thing settle on its own? Wu wei is not passivity; it is a particular kind of wisdom about timing and flow, and a Taoist life often shows it in small, undramatic ways.
Their relationship with the natural world belongs in the memorial. Taoism reads the Tao in mountains, rivers, seasons, and breath. Did they walk in the hills, keep a garden, tend a pot of orchids, watch the moon at Mid-Autumn, listen for the cicadas in summer? Were there particular landscapes, temples, or trees that meant something to them? Festivals like the Lantern Festival, Mid-Autumn, Qingming, and the Jade Emperor's birthday often hold family memories worth recording.
Name the Taoist principles they actually lived. Simplicity, contentment, harmony, the value of stillness, ziran (naturalness), the care of the body through diet, breath, or qigong, the use of I Ching or other practices for reflection. The temples they visited or supported, the Daoshi who served the family, the rituals they kept at home, these are the marks of a Taoist life in ordinary days.
Memory prompts
Use these to gather material before you start writing, or share them with family and fellow practitioners who knew the person and want to contribute.
- Their relationship with the natural world, a mountain, a garden, a river, a tree, the sky at a certain hour.
- A festival they observed, the Lantern Festival, Mid-Autumn, Qingming, the Jade Emperor's birthday, or another close to their heart.
- Their philosophy on letting go, what they refused to force, and what they trusted to settle on its own.
- How they handled change, illness, or hardship, the steadiness, the patience, the quiet adjustments.
- A temple they visited, supported, or had a long relationship with.
- Their use of Taoist phrases, sayings from the Tao Te Ching or Zhuangzi, or wisdom they returned to.
- Their relationship with rest and stillness, the unhurried meal, the long walk, the afternoon nap that no one was allowed to disturb.
- Their practice of qigong, tai chi, meditation, or breath work, if they kept one.
- Their care of the body through diet, herbs, or traditional Chinese medicine.
- The way they faced the end of their life, the harmony, the trust in the Tao, the readiness to let go.
Structure suggestions
A simple shape that holds up well, whether the memorial is a paragraph or several pages.
- Open with a reference to the Tao, to yin and yang, or to a season or landscape that held meaning for the person.
- Move into their story, where they were born, the family they came from and the family they made, the work they did, the temples they kept ties with.
- Spend the most words on character and wu wei. Specifics carry more weight than general praise, the way they handled an argument, the way they tended a garden, the way they sat quietly through a long illness.
- Name their practice plainly. The festivals they kept, the temples they supported, the qigong or tai chi they did each morning, the herbs they trusted, the sayings they returned to.
- Include the voices of others if you can. A line from a grandchild, a memory from a fellow practitioner, a sentence from someone they walked with in the hills.
- Close with a prayer for harmony in the next realm, that the Hun travels gently, that the Po rests in peace, that the soul finds its place in the Tao.
If a blank page is too much
Writing about someone you have just lost is hard, and a blank document is sometimes the hardest part. If that is where you are right now, Cherished Book offers a free, respectful first draft built from a few short questions you can then shape with your own words and invite family to add to. The AI is calibrated to Taoist framing (the Tao, the soul's journey, wu wei, and the balance of yin and yang) and nothing publishes without your review. Many families find it easier to edit something gentle than to start from nothing.
Including others
A Taoist life is rarely lived alone, and a memorial is richer when family and the wider community add their voices.
- Reach out to the temple first. The Daoshi who served the family, the regular attendees at festivals, and fellow practitioners often hold stories the family never heard.
- Ask the extended family (cousins, in-laws, the relatives who emigrated decades ago) for the small specifics they remember.
- Invite the grandchildren to contribute a sentence each. A child's memory of a grandparent in the garden, at the temple, or pouring tea often lands more strongly than any adult passage.
- Reach into the fellow-practitioner circle, the tai chi group in the park, the qigong class, the herbalist they trusted, the friends from the temple committee.
- Welcome contributions in any language. A line in Mandarin, Cantonese, Hokkien, English, or any language the family carries belongs in the memorial.
- Cherished Book lets family, friends, and fellow practitioners add memories, photos, and short tributes to the same memorial, so you do not have to gather everything yourself in the 49 days.
Frequently asked questions
Is it appropriate to write a memorial for a Taoist who has died?
Yes. Recording the life they lived in harmony with the Tao (their practice, their wu wei, their care of body and spirit) sits well alongside the rites of the 49 days. The Taoist caution is against excess and ostentation; a quiet, sincere memorial is welcome.
Should I include lines from the Tao Te Ching or Zhuangzi?
A single line that meant something to the person is usually more powerful than a long passage. If they had a verse they returned to, use that. If not, a brief, well-chosen line about water, stillness, or the Way often anchors the memorial gently.
How do I write about a family that blends Taoism with Buddhism or folk practice?
Write to what the family actually did. Most Taoist families in practice keep Taoist, Buddhist, and folk rites together: the chanting, the incense, the joss paper, the offerings at festivals. Name the practices that mattered to the person rather than trying to separate the strands.
Last reviewed June 2026.
Preserve their memory, together.
A collaborative memorial lets family and friends share stories, photos, and announcements, all in one place. It’s free to create.
Something not right?
We work hard to keep this content accurate and respectful. If you spot anything that could be improved, let us know.