What to Expect at a Secular Funeral
A secular funeral, sometimes called a humanist funeral or a celebration of life, is a service held without religious content. It centres on the person who has died, their story, their relationships, the things they loved. This guide explains what to expect and how to take part with respect.
How a secular funeral unfolds
Secular funerals in the UK and Europe have become steadily more common as fewer families identify with an organised faith. They range from formal humanist ceremonies, led by a trained celebrant accredited by an organisation such as Humanists UK, to relaxed celebrations of life built around personal speakers, music, and memories. What unites them is that the service contains no prayers, no hymns, and no reference to a god or afterlife.
Venues vary widely. A secular service may take place at a crematorium chapel, a funeral home, a natural burial ground, a community hall, a hotel, a favourite outdoor spot, or sometimes a pub or restaurant the person loved. Because there are no religious requirements, the family has a great deal of freedom to choose somewhere that meant something to the person who has died.
A typical running order looks something like this: a welcome from the celebrant, a piece of music chosen by the family, a life tribute built from stories shared by relatives and friends, one or two readings (poetry, song lyrics, or favourite passages), a moment of quiet reflection, and a committal or farewell at the end of the service. The whole thing usually lasts between 30 and 60 minutes, often followed by a wake or gathering at a separate venue.
What to expect at the service
A few things to expect when you arrive, especially if it is your first secular funeral.
- A celebrant (usually a trained humanist or independent celebrant) will lead the service rather than a religious minister. Their tone is warm, personal, and focused on the deceased.
- The tribute is the heart of the ceremony. It is normally a 10 to 20 minute account of the person's life, woven from interviews the celebrant has done with the family.
- Family and friends may be invited to read a poem, share a memory, or play a piece of music. Some services include several speakers; others keep it to one or two.
- Music is usually carefully chosen and often unconventional: favourite songs, film themes, or pieces with personal meaning rather than traditional hymns.
- There will normally be a moment of reflection in place of prayer, when those present are invited to think their own thoughts, religious or otherwise.
- You may be asked to sign a memorial book or take an order of service when you arrive. Mobile phones should be on silent throughout.
- A wake or gathering often follows, sometimes back at the family home, sometimes at a pub, hotel, or community space. Food and drink are usually offered.
How guests can show respect
Small, considerate gestures that matter to a non-religious family.
- Read the order of service in advance if you receive one. It will tell you the dress code, the music, and who is speaking, which helps you settle into the tone the family has set.
- Be willing to take part in personalised elements. If the family asks guests to wear a particular colour, share a memory, or sing along to a favourite song, joining in is the kindest response.
- Respect the choice not to have religion in the service. Avoid saying prayers aloud, making the sign of the cross, or framing your tributes in religious language.
- Arrive a few minutes early. Secular services are typically tightly scheduled, especially at crematoriums where slots are timed.
- Stay for the wake if you are invited. The reception is where families do most of their grieving aloud, and your presence matters more than your words.
- If you are asked to contribute a memory or photograph beforehand, send something even if you feel you do not know what to say. Celebrants weave small details into a much fuller picture.
Things to be mindful of
A few common missteps that are easy to avoid.
- "I'll say a prayer for them at the service." — A secular funeral is intentionally non-religious. Praying privately is your right, but doing so aloud, or speaking about the person in religious terms during a tribute, can feel out of step with the family's wishes.
- Framing your eulogy in religious language. — If you are invited to speak, keep your tribute focused on the person and their life. Even references to "looking down from above" or "in heaven now" may not fit the tone.
- Assuming the dress code is black. — Many secular families ask for bright colours, a favourite shade, or simply "smart casual." Read the order of service or ask, rather than defaulting.
- Photographing the service. — Funerals are private. Do not take photos or video unless the family has explicitly invited you to.
- Treating the relaxed format as informal in tone. — A celebration of life may welcome bright clothes and lively music, but it is still a funeral. Stay attentive, kind, and present throughout.
Frequently asked questions
What is the difference between a humanist funeral and a celebration of life?
A humanist funeral is a formal non-religious ceremony led by a trained celebrant, often accredited by Humanists UK or a similar body, and follows a deliberate structure rooted in humanist values. A celebration of life is a broader term for any service that focuses on the person's life rather than religious ritual. In practice the two overlap heavily, and many humanist funerals are also called celebrations of life.
Are non-religious people welcome to attend?
Of course, and so are religious people. Secular funerals welcome everyone regardless of their own beliefs. The only request is that guests respect the non-religious nature of the service while they are there.
Can hymns or religious readings be included?
It varies. A strictly humanist funeral will not include religious content, but some families choose a mixed service, perhaps a hymn that meant something to the person, or a passage of scripture that does. The order of service will tell you what is planned.
How long does a secular funeral last?
The ceremony itself usually lasts between 30 and 60 minutes. At a crematorium the slot is often fixed at 30 or 45 minutes. A wake or reception afterwards may last several hours and is the part most people remember.
Is there usually a wake after a secular funeral?
Yes, almost always. The wake is held at a separate venue (a pub, hotel, community hall, or the family home) and is often a longer, more relaxed gathering with food, drink, photos, and conversation. It is the family's way of marking the day together.
Last reviewed June 2026.
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