Jewish Funeral Customs and Traditions

Jewish tradition treats death with great seriousness and considerable structure. Mourning is held in community, not alone, and the year following a death is divided into clear stages: aninut (the time between death and burial), shiva (the first seven days of intensive mourning at home), sheloshim (the thirty days of lighter mourning), and the full year for the loss of a parent. Each stage has its own permissions and obligations. Practice differs across Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, and Reconstructionist communities, but the essential rhythm is shared.

The funeral service itself (called Levayah, meaning "accompanying") is short, usually 20 to 30 minutes, and held at a funeral home, synagogue chapel, or graveside. Burial typically takes place within 24 hours of death, sooner where possible. Cremation is not traditionally practised in Orthodox or Conservative Judaism, though some Reform and secular Jewish families do choose it. The body is washed by the chevra kadisha (sacred burial society), dressed in plain white shrouds (tachrichim), and placed in a simple wooden coffin. Closed-coffin services are the norm; there is no viewing.

Before the service, immediate family perform K'riah (the tearing of a garment or, more commonly today, a small black ribbon pinned to the lapel) as a physical expression of grief. The service includes psalms, a eulogy (hesped) given by a rabbi or family member, and the prayer El Malei Rachamim, asking God to grant the soul rest. At the graveside, mourners and sometimes guests take turns placing earth into the grave with the back of the shovel: a final act of accompaniment. The Mourner's Kaddish is then recited.

After the burial, the family returns home to begin shiva, the seven days of intensive mourning. Mirrors may be covered, mourners sit on low stools, and visitors come to comfort them. The traditional greeting on arrival is "HaMakom yenachem etchem b'toch shar avelei Tzion v'Yerushalayim", meaning "May God comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem." For most visitors, the simpler "May their memory be a blessing" (zichrono livracha for a man, zichronah livracha for a woman) is always appropriate. Bringing a prepared meal to the shiva house is a deeply valued kindness; flowers are not customary, but a donation in the deceased's memory is welcomed.